Admiration
by Pinkie Tuscadaro
Summary: Spinner's wisdom on the whole Manny, Craig, Ashley situation in Holiday from season 3.
1. Chapter 1

I came around the corner at the skating rink and what did I see? Manny and Craig in a very compromising position. She had him up against the wall and they were kissing. I was like, 'whoa, dude, what are you doing?' I mean, c'mon, he was seeing Ashley.

Sure, Manny was hot. There was no denying that. But so was Ashley and who did he love? Didn't he love Ashley? So I watched them with the shocked look on my face and Manny smiled and walked by me and then Craig, man was he a classic, he says, 'are you stalking me or what, Spinner?' And I'm all like explaining myself, he had turned it around. I catch him cheating on Ashley and I'm explaining myself? I mean, I had to laugh. Freakin' Craig, he thinks he's so smart. But he ain't that smart. No one's smart enough to play with fire like that.

I played it off like I kind of admired him for stringing along two hot babes like he was doing, and I guess I did sort of admire it. But it's like in the way you might admire a bank robber. It looked all cool with the big gun and the rubber mask of some ex-president but you don't want to actually do it. And the reason? Simple. You're gonna get caught.

I said he was a big stud and he's eating those runts or m&m's or whatever candy he got out of the machines, eating 'em so fast one by one, just crunching them right up. He looked worried, and he should be worried. The whole thing was gonna crash down around his head. But he puts his feet up on the table and leans back, smiles at me like a pimp, 'I get around,' he says.

Yeah, well, not me. I had Paige and I knew she was the one. It was better to know you're with the one instead of sneaking around kissing one girl at ice skating rinks and another one in the halls at school. I mean, in school, does Manny walk around with narrowed eyes, wishing evil things would happen to Ashley? And then Ashley? She was just oblivious. No. It was better to be with the one you're supposed to be with.

But I knew there would be no telling him that. There really is no sharing of the wisdom. He'd have to get burned before he learned anything.

So we're at the mall Christmas shopping. Craig's wearing that ridiculous hat of his. Whatever. Studs think they can dress however they want. I'm doing my typical Christmas shopping, which is getting more for less. I get good gifts, they just don't cost a million dollars. It's smart. It's financially smart. Craig doesn't have this concept, this is obvious when he spends like a hundred bucks on some old T-shirt. 'A vintage T-shirt,' he calls it. Vintage means old, man. C'mon. But whatever. It's his money.

'One girlfriend down, one to go, right?' I say, and he gives me that look. I smile. It's fun to see him squirm. I didn't know how this whole Manny/Ashley saga was going to end, I just knew it wouldn't be good. I mean, they went to the same school, for god's sake! All three of them! Couldn't he secretly date some other girl who didn't go to Degrassi? He just wasn't being smart about the whole thing. Not at all.

It wasn't my concern. Cuddling up to Paige at the movies or at our houses on the couch, holding hands and kissing in the dark, I was glad we didn't have any secrets. Honesty in relationships was important. It was vital. And you know, I don't get it sometimes. Everyone seems to thing that Craig is so smart. What makes them think that? Good grades? Good grades don't mean shit.

I'd keep the secret. Who else knew? I think it might just be me. I felt no pressure to let Ashley in on it. She'd find out soon enough. And I had the perfect vantage point. I could see all their motives. Manny was like infatuated with Craig so she didn't care. She didn't care that he had a girlfriend. She just wanted him. Ashley thought she had something she didn't. She thought Craig was being loyal to her like she was being loyal to him. She didn't know that the trust was gone, and I guess it was still there for now. And Craig? He was tougher. Maybe he loved them both.

Yeah, maybe he loved them both. But he was gonna lose them both. There was no avoiding it. That was the cost of being a big stud. You lose everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Man, Craig. I was just watching in like awe. One minute he was kissing Ashley by her locker, the next minute he was dragging Manny into deserted classrooms. Freaking Craig, man. I don't know how he found the time. It was all I could do to handle just Paige, but of course she was a bit high maintenance.

'What are you doing, man?' I said at lunch one day. Neither girl was here, which was unusual.

'What?' he said in his clueless way. He knew what.

'Uh, Manny and Ashley. How long is this going to go on?'

He shrugged, and looked away. No one wanted to talk about their unsavory behavior. I kind of felt like it was my job to bring this kind of stuff to his attention. He should be realizing it himself.

'How did you get yourself into this situation, anyway? You do know that it's all going to blow up in your face, right?' I said. Now I had him looking worried.

'Spin, I know. It kind of just happened. I told Manny I broke up with Ashley but I didn't. I was going to but she gave me this guitar, and then I couldn't do it, exactly. So I told Manny to wait until after the play, that I haven't told her about us but that I did break up with her, so she won't mention anything, but still…'

My head was spinning. I was trying to follow all of his lies.

It was none of my business, really. It was Craig's screwed up love life and I really shouldn't be worrying about it. But, it was like, I know what people think about me. They think I'm not that bright, and I suppose the evidence is in their favor. I failed English. I gave Jimmy my Ritalin in grade eight. I was always doing things that weren't that well thought out. But that was only one side of things. About this, about girls and relationships and being truthful in relationships, I thought that about that I was pretty smart. And Craig, meanwhile, everyone thinks he's so smart, and I don't really know why. What he was doing now was really dumb.

Craig gave me those pleading looks every now and then, and I knew he was pleading with me not to tell Ashley and Manny what he was up to. Sure. Why would I? No reason really.

Once or twice I almost told Paige. I stopped myself, staring into her sea green eyes. If I told her Ashley would know almost immediately and then the whistle would be blown. I told him I wouldn't tell, I'd just let the whole thing melt down on him all on it's own.

Winter. So long and cold. Some nights I'd cuddle up with Paige and watch DVD's. Pop popcorn in the microwave. It was nice to have an uncomplicated life. Nothing too taxing. Taking things as they came. I couldn't stand it, cheating, coordinating secret meetings and trying to keep straight lies in my head. I could never do it.

The decorations at the school kind of multiply until Christmas is over. Tinsel over this doorway and some paper mache trees. Snow falls all the time. It kind of hypnotizes me as it falls outside the classroom windows. The hum of the heaters make me sleepy.

The big winter festival play was coming up, and it seemed like everyone had a part in it except me. That was fine. I didn't really care.

Everyone was practicing in the auditorium and the gym, and everyone was wearing these ridiculous costumes, especially J.T. Oh well.

I saw Manny walk by Craig and Ashley practicing their song, and I saw the dagger look she gave him. He was dead. That was it. There would be no going back. The shit was about to hit the fan.


End file.
